The only thing on this planet you can control is you: How you think, how you feel, how you react to situations and how you show up.
The CompTIA Advancing Women in IT Community webinar was entitled "Be Strong … Stand Up … Stand Out - Quiet Women Never Changed History" but before unveiling her tips, presenter Pattie Grimm explained she hoped to help participants avoid or stop what she called "The Fall"— that soul-drying, health-endangering exhaustion that comes from working too hard while trying to be Superwoman and/or Super Mom.
"The myth of doing it all is truly a myth," said Grimm, president and change leader of Advantage Performance & Training Ltd. in Redmond, Wash, and former Microsoft executive. "You can't be the super mom, you can't be the super business person. You have to find that balance and perspective that helps you stand out, and be strong, as well as stand up."
During her hour-long presentation last week, Grimm encouraged participants to advance their personal growth and career success by identifying and maximizing their strengths, and by aligning their life and career to a personal vision that made their passion their vocation. And she gave specific tips and tools about how that could be done.
As a former worldwide partner skills development director at Microsoft, she talked about how IT is a wonderful career sector for women, no matter what their level of technical skill might be. "Whatever your passion is, you can find that career within IT."
To surmount any external barriers to their career, women need to address any internal barriers, she said. "The only thing on this planet you can control is you: How you think, how you feel, how you react to situations and how you show up," Grimm said. Citing Stephen Covey's "circles of influence" work, she added, "You expand your circle of control by successfully influencing people, and you expand that circle of influence by taking positive action."
Within the webinar, Grimm offered broad strategies ("Partner with people who are different from you, and use their strengths to help you.") and small, savvy tips ("Don't be the den mother" and pick up post-meeting trash other than your own.). She highlighted the resources and wisdom available from Tony Alessandra's book The Platinum Rule, Marcus Buckingham's StandOut, and Sheryl Sandberg's Lean In.
And Grimm was emphatic about women's obligation to support other women and young girls coming into the workplace. Just as each woman needs a mentor, each woman should be a mentor, she contends. "We are where we are today because we stand on the shoulders of giants, and it's our role to help our daughters, our granddaughters and young women succeed in this wonderful business."
But she wanted the women participating in the webinar to be realistic and strategic about how they pursue career success. "Superwoman doesn't exist. Cinderella doesn't exist, and to be honest, many of us trying to play that super role in all dimensions of our life are just frankly tired," said Grimm.
Grimm knew that feeling well. She had once tried to be Superwoman and fell. She told her story within the webinar, at first attributing the story to a woman named "Sue" but later admitting that Sue's story was her own.
Raised by parents with good values and good intent, who told her she could do anything she put her mind to, Grimm did well in school and college, and found early success in her career. But she exhausted her body by working 60 to 70 hours a week, getting up at 5:30 in the morning to do email, working a full day, coming home to have dinner with her family, then sending emails until midnight.
She worked on weekends, and when people asked her what she liked to do, she literally said, "I have no idea." She lost touch with her spirituality, her family and the things she loved to do.
Doctors and nurses convinced her she had to take care of herself. A doctor-ordered medical leave helped regain her sense of self, and she "came back stronger than ever."
In offering her tips, suggestions and strategies to participants, Grimm hoped they would "Either avoid the fall or catch yourself soon enough to recognize that you are in it, and do something to take care of yourself before that fall actually becomes fatal to you."
"It's really important that we, as women, figure out how do we take care of ourselves and how do we move forward," said Grimm.
The full archived webinar "Be Strong...Stand Up...Stand Out - Quiet Women Never Changed History" is available online.
